We all know the troubles of finding a bathroom when desperately in need, but for one poor individual, he was simply too desperate. At 21:00 on Monday evening, authorities were alerted to a disturbance at the REDACTED household, the caller claiming to be hearing screams of pain coming from next door. When there was no response at the door, police broke it down, only to be met with a horrendous stench, and a thick smog clouding their vision. After searching the property, police found the unconscious body of Enthapi laying face down on the carpet. An ambulance was called, and he was taken to the nearby hospital, while police continued the search. Upon reaching the bathroom, movement was heard, and they readied to enter, the smell at its worst. Inside, officers were shocked to find Suggery huddled over the bathtub, scrubbing a pair of pants with a bone dry brush. He was arrested, and in custody, he quotes “I was trying my hardest to clean them, but it wasn’t working. I was only making it worse”. His victim, Enthapi, is being treated in hospital for a complete loss of smell, vision, and lung damage. At this time we are unable to obtain an interview with him. The sentencing for Suggery will take place this Saturday.