A review on a BBQ jackfruit sausage roll, without the sausage
First and foremost; it smells like pastry, which is all you can really ask of a pastry, so i wont judge it too harshly because it got the most important part of being a pastry very nicely done so the feller gets top marks in that category. It was nicely crisped also but I will have to take the praise for that one as my skills in placing said vegan roll in the oven were next to none clearly. Unfortunately at the time of writing it is raining outside and the window is open and although there is a nice February breeze wafting into my room it will make the sausage roll cold.
As I went to take a bite out of the sausage roll on the left I failed to notice that the plate on which the vegan rolls were resting was on the edge of the table and I flipped the pastry on the right into the air and there were lots of crumbs on the floor. My first bite tasted a bit like the shitty tomato sauce you get in those chopped tomato tins from Sainsburys that I don't like, because when you put them in anything the entire dish ends up tasting of wet tomato. There was however a nice kick to the aftertaste which I was not expecting, and I had to take a small sip of my water.
Interestingly the more I tasted the sausage roll on the left, which had now become the sausage roll on the right post-incident, the more I came to like the slightly rubbish taste of tomato - I don't know what a jackfruit is but if I were to describe the feeling of holding this golden-brown item of great Greggs controversy and rather well priced cheapness, and indulging in the advertised-barbeque-flavour it would indeed have to be Tomato.
As I polished off the remains of my afternoon treat I took notice of the crumbs of pastry on the floor, and, as I did very much enjoy my dinner meal I took to my more animalistic instincts and began lapping up the freshly oven baked remains of the Lidl brand roll and if that isn’t a testament to the fine work the boys and girls at Lidl have done then I don’t know what else is. Although I think I may have mistaken a slightly stale orange peel on the floor as a wafer of roll and my throat feels funny now. Why do we call them rolls anyway? A bread roll looks rollable on all angles. You can only roll a sausage roll in one dimension. Should be called something cylindrical instead, like a pipe. Although a pipe of sausage sounds a little unsavoury so maybe a little more research could be done. Overall a solid 3 star rating, if the thing tasted of Tesco finest tinned tomato and not Tesco value then perhaps I could have bumped it up to a 4 star.